"brunch" at work: Mile High 5 Layer Chocolate Cake
I apologize for myself quite often. Not verbally, but mentally.
Don't get me wrong - I'm just as obstinate, if not more, than the next person, especially when it comes to being right. Just ask, well, just about anyone who knows me :) On the flip side, I feel I am fairly apt at pinpointing situations where a heartfelt apology is due. But when it comes to expressing myself fully in the way I would be most "honestly" expressed, I often quell my inner urge to act how I truly feel.
Case in point: I attended an info session tonight for a TEFL course (If I know my audience, you all know EXACTLY what this acronym stands for, but just in case: Teaching English as a Foreign Language). As attendees tossed around stories of living abroad, teaching abroad, learning languages and cultures, sharing their own language and culture - my excitement grew and grew. People's hands were flying up to add their 2 cents, and others were interrupting each other in exuberant haste. But I calmly sat back and watched, taking in every perspective before carefully crafting the wording for my own, to be shared only in the instance of a lull in the conversation. My instict was to stand up and shout with enthusiasm or, in this arena, at least share some stories of my own (I feel like I have a few good nuggets), but instead I sat and watched.
Another example: singing in the car. I've been known to belt out a good tune here or there. In fact, all the way home from the aforementioned info session I dubbed my own version over every song I heard come on the radio, whether I knew the actual lyrics or not. However, at each stoplight and, for that matter, at each high note, I became very self aware and apologetic. It's as if I was telling myself, "Ok, that was fun. Now get a grip." But there is so much people like me can learn from people like the guy who pulls up next to me at the stoplight: head bobbing, finger tapping, vocal chords straining, dreadlocks flying...
I often find myself in an over the top, ecstatically delicious, multi-layered, sickeningly amazing mood. The Mile High 5 Layer Chocolate Cake doesn't apologize - why should I?
